"Another one bites the dust" is playing right now in the background.  I love it.  I want to dance.

Just kidding, kind of.

I drove downtown this morning to come to one of my favorite coffee shops - Stumptown. Stumptown is a nickname for Portland because when they were building the city they had to cut down a lot of trees (yes, amazing, they killed tree’s in Oregon) and there were a bunch of stumps around. Hence the name, “Stumptown.”  This coffee shop, however, not only has historical roots it also has phenomenal coffee!

All the stores have a similar feel to them - urban feel (as you can tell by the dj booth in the back), but have a very eclectic base of customers. People who are homeless, in school, businessmen and women, etc...all come here.  I come here because it’s only about 10 minutes from my house, but it feels like light years away. That’s the beauty of Portland - there are so many different types of areas here. Each district is unique from all others. 

Just in line at Starbucks.  As I was standing there I saw a man writing in a notebook - he obviously didn’t know I was snooping.  He certainly didn’t recognize the fact that I took this picture with my cell phone!  Sssshhhhh.

He was a middle aged man, and from what I could tell he was listing out the characteristics he wanted in a mate!  I checked and he didn’t have a wedding ring on.  The title at the top of the page was “desired characteristics.”  His list was VERY long - maybe that’s why he didn’t have a significant other…?

Picky?  Maybe, but there might be something deeper going on.

Most of the time when we’re thinking about future relationships we think about characteristics we desire a “significant other” to have.  In many ways I think this can be healthy, but turning the table a bit may be a better perspective. 

I'm sitting in a coffee shop (of course) - this one, at this time, will remain nameless.  Why?  Well, I don't want to give this one a bad vibe in anyway.

People have secret lives.  People often aren't what they seem. 

I was hanging out with a couple guys from my church.  We were just hanging out talking about life, laughing.  It was fun.  But then one of them tells me the guy behind me (in business attire) is playing some porn game on his computer.  In a coffee shop?  In public?  Weird.

People sometimes are so lost in their secret lives they forget it's a secret.  They get so in tune they forget others are around.

Apparently, since my friend was sitting directly across from me, he glanced at the guy behind me and saw some reality game on his computer where there was  a night club scene.  And then all the sudden he said the guy clicks on the girl, undresses her so she's dancing completely naked, and zooms in.  All I knew was my friend abruptly looked away (in fact he adjusted his seat to face another direction).  Being that all this was happening behind me I didn't know what was going on, but I could tell from the look on my friends face that whatever just happened didn't settle well with him.  

 Went to a different coffee shop today.  The Hawthorne district is a very popular district in Portland.  It's pretty much the place to be if you're in your twenties.  It's known for it's pubs, shopping, night life...and of course, coffee shops.  So, I came to "The Press" this morning.  It's at the end of Hawthorne blvd, with a quaint outside and urban feel inside.  Even though it’s about 25 minutes away from my house, I come here every once in a while because it's a great place to meet people.  

I sat on a couch.  It has a coffee table in front of it with another couch across, facing me.  I sat here because there's a couple sitting on the couch across.  I figure if we're facing each other we're bound to have some type of conversation - at some point.  My assumption proved to be true.  The couple just packed up and left, but we had a great conversation.

I'm at  a new coffee shop this morning.  Never been here before, but drove past it a couple times so thought i would check it out.  I like it - cozy couches, cool atmosphere.  Just ordered a "spicy Mocha."  Not sure what that means yet, but it's one of their specialty items so I figured I'd check it out.  I love Portland.  I'm looking out the window at a clear blue sky, florescent colored leaves on the trees, damp streets.  Walking in I could see my breathe just a little - the fall is my favorite season!

I'm looking around in the coffee shop and I see what looks like a couple talking.  My guess is they are about 21 or 22 years old.  They don't seem to know each other that well - in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this their second or third time together with the way they're talking.  Yes, I've eavesdropped a little.  Listening to them got me thinking about something for this series of blogs I'm doing.  The issue of identity and meaning is closely tied to relationships.

 I'm not sure where you are in life, but if you're in your early twenties I hope this is going to help you think more deeply about yourself and pursuits.

 All of us are gaining a deeper sense of meaning and hoping in future things to bring that about.  This is never more true than our college-age years.  These years that are filled with hope in a successful career and possibly even a family life.  It's totally natural to place a lot of hope in these things, but I would also have to say it's not necessarily healthy.

There's a sub-culture of people, maybe you'll find yourself in this one, that are highly motivated in their education.  Even though I hate categorizing people in anything, for the sake of this blog I will call this person the "vocational."  The vocational has a very practical approach to school, seeking to gain skills and knowledge that will directly assist them in their future vocation.  The underlying hope of the vocational is that an education will be the first step toward a successful career and making more money.

Who am I?  Not so easy to answer is it?

I’m sitting at Ava, my favorite coffee shop.  I moved up to Portland about six months ago from the LA area, and love it here.  There are a lot of differences, but the biggest one being in the people.  Now, it’s still America, but the truth is the culture here is different.

People ask me what the difference is.  I can’t say exactly, but I often use the illustration of musicians to try to try to explain...

This is a generalization of course (and in ways unfair), but in LA the musicians seem to have an identity in the image of a musician.  It’s not that they’re not good.  They just seem to love the image of a musician more than they do music.  More than that, they seem to see themselves in what they think the image of a musician is much more than authentically being one.

I was just in line for the bathroom at a coffee shop and had an interesting conversation with a guy.  I know, a little weird.  There's only one men's restroom here so when someone's taking a while there can be a bit of build up (no pun intended).  The guy in front of me was sighing a lot, seemingly out of frustration more than physical pain.  At least in this situation patience was not his strength.  Either that or his holding pattern was about to end.

Anyway, he turned to me and said, "Do you like your blackberry?"  Kind of random, especially since I wasn't holding it!  I left it on the table, next to my computer.  I guess he saw me on it prior to the frustrating (for him) wait for the restroom.  Whenever I get a call I use that as an excuse to get up, walk outside, and pace as I talk (I've always walked around while talking on the phone, not sure why).  Anyway, I replied to him, "Yeah, I love it.  Do you have one?"

I was working at Ava last week when I noticed a book someone had.  It was titled, "Speak and Grow Rich."  It had a "get rich quick" look to it.  I'm not sure what that look really is, but you know what I mean - you've seen infomercials!  In fact, if you're anything like me, you've watched them, get sucked in a bit, and then after its done wonder why in the world you wasted your time.  But since it was 1:00 am you couldn't have been doing too many other things anyway, so who really cares?  Plus, then you probably wondered (at least a little bit) if it could work for you!

Anyway, I noticed this book sitting on the table by this guy.  So, looking for anything to strike up a conversation, I walked by and said, "I couldn't help but notice that book, is it good?"  

I haven't blogged recently because I was in El Salvador.  I had some great encounters with people there, so I will let you know about that VERY soon.  But first, continuing the visual series...

Ok, I know Starbuck's isn't unique to Portland, but there is one I go to often.  When I'm at a Starbucks I usually get the same thing: skinny vanilla latte.  I mix it up sometimes...sometimes it's iced.  I've also been known to buy a "Naked" drink, the green one (I'm not even sure what the name is).  I love the banana nut loaf, and I also like the Black Forest morning sandwich.  Anyway, I go to this starbucks for a few different reasons:

1.  It's two blocks from my house.
2. It's across the street from massive business center.  This center has 100's of businesses in it, so there is constantly business meetings, or people that walk over for a quick break.
3. It's right by a freeway, so it's a great place for people to meet up.  When this happens, you can see it immediately.  People walk in and immediately seem lost.  They're looking for the person they're meeting, most of which they've never met before.  Not knowing what the other person looks like leads you to accidently walk up to the wrong people....which from my position is humorous every time I watch it.
4. I sit in a place (every time) where I can see the entire place - I can see both doors, the entire seating area, and the counter.  This way I can make sure I notice people I know.  Briefly saying hi (as I so casually get up, walk toward the bathroom - even though I don't have to go - just to walk by a person and say a quick "hello").  I've found these quick little encounters pay off down the road!
5. It's right by Washington Square - the biggest mall in the area.  So, you even get people stopping by after shopping, and especially those that went to Barne's N' Noble.