Click here to read my most scathing review ever - of Norman Jean Roy’s
Traffik Exhibition Opening. I wrote it at 1 a.m. when I got home from the opening.

I was really mad. 

First Chronicles 16 paints an amazing picture of an Israel that was truly with God. There had been some dark days behind this people, Israel, chosen by God for the display of his splendor for the sake of Jew and Gentile alike. And, sadly, we learn as we continue to read that there would be even darker days ahead for them. But at this point in the story, Israel is with their God. They have a leader, King David, whose heart is described as being after God's own heart, and they are dancing and rejoicing over the fact that the ark, representing God's presence with them, has been returned to them. Gone are the days, it seems, of being cut off from God, of having to hide their blaspheming and idolatrous faces. Happy days were here again.

This past Friday at IAM we screened the film “In The Realms Of The Unreal (2004),” a documentary about Henry Darger (1892-1973).

Before the curator of IAM’s Movie Nights introduced me to this film, I had never heard of Henry Darger, but now I can’t seem to stop thinking about him. What a remarkable man he was, and yet, like many geniuses before him and since, it was not until shortly before his death at the age of eighty-two that anyone became aware of his beautiful mind.

When I was a smoker, one of the most irritating things was when people tried to encourage me to quit. They told me all sorts of things I already knew, about lung disease and yellow teeth and the like, as if that would be why I would quit. I was in my early 20's, I had a lot of insecurities and really wanted to fit in. I read an interview with Julia Roberts, who was sexy and beautiful and famous, in Rolling Stone, where it described her lighting up her Marlboro Red, and I was smitten. I think I bought a pack that day (which nearly killed me, those things are barely filtered).

But then, unbelievably (to me), I actually became addicted. So when I actually finally wanted to quit, it was really, really hard. It took me a full year to stop having relapses, and now, eight years after my last cigarette, I still long for one every now and then. Of course, I know that if I did smoke a cigarette now, I would hate it. But there were certain things about being a smoker I actually miss - the comeraderie shared by fellow smokers, often coming from all sorts of backgrounds and demographics, uniting around the little pot of sand outside the building,,, or the cigarette break, which took you away from your work for a few minutes to think and observe life outside your cubicle or theater or trailer on set (which was where I was working mostly those days). It was also a way to feel rebellious, which I needed back then. Nowadays, I have a different rebellion - rebelling against consumerism (or at least wanting to), rebelling against the stereotypes of 30-something single women, rebelling against sexual promiscutiy and the negative aspects of the feminist movement and the post-modern attitude to deny absolute truth.

A few months ago, I accompanied Mako Fujimura to Colorado for the Via Affirmativa retreat at Glen Eyrie. Mako invited me to supplement his talk by speaking about IAM. The theme of the retreat was Excellence, and during my morning devotions the day we spoke, I wrote the following meditation. Later that day, Mako's talk dealt directly with the substance of what I had written that morning, so I decided to share it when I spoke. Here is the (slightly polished) version, originally appreaing on Via Affirmativa's website.

A MEDITATION ON EXCELLENCE IN THE ARTS

If I paint more excellently than any other, but I do not communicate love in my painting, I am nothing more than an offensive noise; like Pavarotti accompanied by an out-of-tune piano: a mockery of the beautiful.

I wrote a long post this morning about bitterness and single women in the church. At the time, it felt like I was writing something very helpful and true. But I read it again tonight and couldn't believe I had written it. Without intending to, I had written something that could very easily be read as harsh and judgmental - not at all what I want to communicate to sisters who are struggling! So I edited myself and you will never see the draft I deleted. (This is the big danger for bloggers - we know what we mean to say, but can't always gauge whether we are communicating what we mean to communicate, in the spirit we mean it.)

But I can't let it go altogether. I feel like there was a nugget of goodness and helpfulness behind it, and I need to share some of what is swimming around in my heart about this.

My friend and former roommate, Susan Isaacs, will be featured at Encounter 09, Art in Action, Feb 26-28.

Susan's first book, Angry Conversations With God, is set to launch in March.

I recently interviewed her for the IAM Podcast, and Part One of our conversation is now available - click here to listen!

Some trivia about Susan: she drinks PG Tips tea while she's writing; she has a cat named Honey; she and her husband, Larry, have been married for just over two years; she is one of the funniest and most sincere people I know.

Since my post on Prop 8, I have been in ongoing dialogue with friends, family and co-workers over the Prop 8 debate and fallout, and over the bigger issue of legislating morality.

I have been challenged to revisit how much we should legislate what are (as Joan Ball and others pointe out) essentially spiritual issues. I see the point that legislating is not necessarily the right solution, and I am thinking a lot about it. As my friend Bryan said to me today, the conversation that needs to happen is not happening, and a lot of conversations that are not offering helpful solutions are taking everyone's attention.

It has been suggested to me that we should only legislate over moral issues that directly affect a person's civil rights.